


Where our hearts will guide us

by Akiko_kitsune



Series: ShouTakaWeek2019 [4]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Spoilers, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 14:04:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20175481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_kitsune/pseuds/Akiko_kitsune
Summary: Once Takasugi asked Shouyou about marriage. The teacher didn't know then how persistent his dearest student heart was when he vowed he would like to stay with him and take care of him.





	Where our hearts will guide us

**Author's Note:**

> It was supposed to be a wedding fic for ShouTaka week day 6, but it turned differently as I planned. Not sure if it still fits the prompt, but at least I every enjoyed writing it

Takasugi stopped and stared at something on the right. Shouyou walked only a one step more. His gaze went along Takasugi's curious what might have picked the interest of his always playing bored student.

They were passing by a shrine. Shouyou noticed sooner the crowd and characteristic flute music. There was a wedding of some wealthy people. Why did it interest Takasugi to the point that he stopped to watch it longer? He had to see the ceremony a few times before, it was inevitable while living even in the village. Did he recognise any of the attendees? Did it bring out some thoughts he was pushing down lately?

Shouyou could only wonder and watch it with him.

As suddenly as he stopped, Takasugi moved forward. Shouyou refrained from asking what was a reason behind his behaviour. Only, when they got away enough not to hear the music, he wanted to make sure if there wasn't any bigger issue underneath. "Is everything alright?" he asked expecting a lie in the answer. His boys were rarely telling him at first the truth. But it didn't matter, Shouyou could look through most of their lies.

"Yeah, I…" Takasugi started, yet soon he stopped himself.

"You can speak to me freely about anything," Shouyou reassured but didn't move any further than that.

They walked a bit in silence. They were going back from the groceries for school. Takasugi had offered to help, Shouyou didn't have anything against it. It was a pleasant day to go for a walk, either alone or with the company. The latter was perhaps even more enjoyable.

"Shouyou…" Takasugi decided to speak in the end. They were still away from school, no one could overhear them. "Since you're an adult… have you… have you ever thought about marriage?"

"Hm… I never have. People often say 'they haven't found the right person yet' - maybe it's similar for me," he smiled gently. "Have you thought about it?"

Takasugi blushed and hastened his pace. "Forget it. It's only something stupid."

"Why do you think it's stupid?"

"... Impossible, rather."

"Why is that so?" Shouyou kept bothering his student. He didn't want him to get stuck in thinking that his feelings were _ stupid _ , that his dreams were _ impossible _ to achieve. "Were you thinking about one person in particular?"

Takasugi slowly nodded.

"What are you worried about?"

"It isn't a girl."

Shouyou slowed his pace. They needed a bit more time to talk about it than it would take them to come back to school. "I see," he spoke gently. He had to choose his words carefully. "Marriages are traditionally between a man and a woman. However… Who can stop two willing people from making the vows before gods to take care of each other till they both walking this ground?" His student looked at him surprised. "Humans' laws and traditions are changing between the years. They don't accurately describe the line between the right and wrong, moral and immoral, decent and indecent. They are susceptible to influences, sometimes used to someone's gain. The only thing that does not change is humans' hearts. Their fears, their weaknesses and their affections. So the only authority you should listen to is your own heart and you should make sure in your life that you will take good care of it. Don't act too fast on impulses, listen to it closely, don't anyone hurt it, don't let it grow bitter by gathering grudge in it. It's your only guide in this world and it knows the best what is right for you."

"I think it's misguiding me. It always pushes me to attempt the impossible."

"Then maybe you are made for things extending our sense of what is possible?'"

"You're thinking too highly of me, sensei." Takasugi moved his gaze away. They walked a bit in silence again. The words that had been spoken needed time to settle in. "Shouyou… If there is no one you want to marry, won't be that lonely?"

"I haven't thought about it." Shouyou knew these concerns. People across centuries were expressing them. They all fear loneliness. But did he? In some ways. He feared being locked up without seeing nor hearing any other living creature. He had experienced that. He had shattered then. However, that wasn't the type of loneliness people were talking about. They meant something more subtle. Like laying down on the bed knowing there is no one coming. Like standing in the crowd and knowing no one cares about them in particular. Was he afraid of that? Maybe fear hadn't come yet. So far he even found comfort in it. No one was coming, no was caring about him, good. But he couldn't say that to a child, who stared at him with such a worried gaze. "I was alone for a long time. I stop noticing it."

"What if I stay?" Takasugi murmured. He was only thinking at loud, but since it spilt out he continued. "What if I stay with you? If I want to… take care of you?"

Shouyou smiled tenderly and bowed his head lightly. "Then I will gladly give in your care."

* * *

Shouyou watched as Takasugi grew up and matured. How, like butterflies he liked to observe, he changed. How from that interesting sensible kid he morphed into the most talented, intelligent, compassionate and beautiful person Shouyou had ever seen. Their mutual interested in each other was also growing. They spent more and more time together and became more intimate. Somehow, lingering touches extended to soft kisses and words of support became murmured in sweeter, more personal terms against each other skin.

One day Shouyou remembered that one strange talk he had with his dearest student about marriages. Had he already thought about him in that way back then? Was his heart so persistent?

Having Takasugi right next to him, now sleeping with a head on his lap, Shouyou was foolishly believing they could be like that forever. Just slowly, tenderly melt into each other.

However, the world is cold and cruel. It ripped them apart and led through throne paths. It gave them only one rushed moment to see each other for the last time. Seeing Takasugi that day, Shouyou couldn't believe it. It had to be a dream, delusion, dying wish that his worn-out mind was giving him to see. Why hadn't he forsaken Shouyou? How could he have persisted through so much pain and hardships? Only for a faint hope reaching him once more? Maybe his hopes were even that high. He just kept his vow. He stayed and he cared about Shouyou. 

"It was my duty as your companion," Takasugi spoke softly. He was smiling. Shouyou would like to look at him and think that he grew up well, but all he was seeing was all the misery and agony his student was experiencing. And he couldn't understand why he kept going the path that hurt him to this extent.

To stay and to take care of each other. Till death do us part. It should be simple. So many people were vowing to do so and many were following these words. Why for them it was so impossibly hard? And why did their heart still guide them that path? Why did it ask them to attempt the impossible?

Cause nothing can stop two willing people to vow to take care of each other.

And seeing each other the last time. Parting with no hope of meeting again, prone their hearts to even more impossible vow. They would stay and take care of each other no matter in what world they would go to. Because even if their bodies were falling apart and their heart barely beating, their souls melted into each other so closely that even gods wouldn't be able to separate them. And no one would ever dare to try, as they were let to rest in peace together.

**Author's Note:**

> I only wanted to write yet again ShouTaka wedding. So why did I listen to mmv to one manga and go with the flow of "and they vowed to love each other even if death do them apart" ;-; ;-; ;-; and it's better to think that Gintoki left Takasugi's body behind to let him lay with Shouyou, than just he didn't want to take any "dead weight" running out. (hc that he left him to make him come back doesn't work for me me unless I looking through GinTaka point of view)
> 
> My original plan was to ShouTaka together in afterlife/heaven and maybe I will try once more to write it, but for now, let's stop on this little thing.
> 
> Comment or find me on twitter (@AkikoKitsune)


End file.
